This speed run guide/walkthrough is written according to CaT's playstyle
on a fresh run on EASY mode. Best for intermediate and above players.

Stage 7-1
(Minimum Aim: ~2 min 30 sec)

Take a deep breath for this one as you're gonna need a lot of pure luck. All you need to do to clear this stage is to break the 2 real pillars and defeat Dr. Ion, but as you know the mirage pillars are quite randomized. Unless you want to try your luck on going straight for which you think is definitely going to be the right pillar (if you have the patience, it'll work), I recommend that you follow this order:

As the stage begins, run forward, turn right around the corner and run for the pillar at the far end where a skinny ass awaits. If that pillar is real, kill off the skinny ass first and grab his cutlass before you use it to break the pillar and fight Dr. Ion. If not, kill off the skinny ass, grab his cutlass, turn around and run for the pillar by the rocket fatty. If the pillar by the fatty isn't it, run past it to the next pillar by another skinny ass. Chances are this one's real, so use the cutlass and break the pillar ASAP while avoiding getting hit by the skinny ass/clawed midgets.

Against Dr. Ion, run up to him immediately, carefully launch him 5 times with the cutlass, and then throw it at him. Assuming some of those hits are lucky counters, you should have taken out around 50% of his life. Now, unleash godhand if you have. If not, keep punching + side dodge + counter punch until you refill enough TP for one unleash, or taunt him quickly enough.

The annoying thing is that Dr. Ion has the tendency to back away far from you forcing you to run after him, hence the faster you unleash godhand the better. If you still need a lot of TP and you have an orb, I recommend that you use it for the Chain Yanker + Yes Man Kablaam tactic to ensure gaining TP without wasting much time.

Once Dr. Ion's down, run to the 2 pillars on the other end near the currently unopened portal and break whichever is real quickly. If you fought Dr. Ion by the 1st or second 2nd pillar, run past all the other pillars in the direction of the portal to see which one's real and break it. Then run to the portal.

Stage 7-2
(Minimum Aim: ~3 min 10 sec)

This stage can be very annoying as well, especially assuming you don't have any orbs to rely on. Against the 1st wave, Face Kick the regular thug away from the trio and kill him ASAP before the others come to interrupt. When he's down, go for the Mohawk lady - break her guard once, punch until she's dizzy, then spank. At this she should be dead or very close to dead. If she's not dead yet, take her out quickly before going for the fatty. (I recommend taking out the Mohawk lady second because she's more annoying than the fatty.) Once she's down, find the chance to High Side Kick cancel the fatty to death.

Before the 2nd wave appears, stand in the center of the room where the enemies spawn. You should also have at least enough TP to unleash once. Once the enemies appear, unleash godhand and attack the skinny ass first before the Mohawk lady (spank her at the end). When both are down, spam High Side Kick cancels on the elite with the mallet to death to refill TP, or whack him with the cutlass the previous skinny ass dropped.

Against the 3rd wave, the ideal way is to do a La Bomba 2 if you have 2 orbs or unleash godhand if you have it at all, but assuming you don't have enough TP/orbs, we'll have to go with plan C. Pick up the mallet from the previous thug and use it to launch as many of them as possible about 6~7 times before throwing it at them. Mind you, this is a lot easier said than done since you'll drop the mallet if any of them hits you first, which is very likely, but it is still the fastest alternate way to beat them. If you haven't used the cutlass from the previous wave, this is the time to make use of it (remember it'll only sustain 5 launches and a throw).

Once all 5 enemies are down, quickly look for the cutlass dropped by this wave, pick it up and stand a moderate distance away from the center of the room. When sensei appears, time a throw at him with the cutlass so that it hits him as he tries to do a sword trust at you to result in a counter (please note that this is a tad risky). If you manage to counter him, that single throw will take him out instantly. If not, he'll have about 30% health remaining.

Stage 7-3: Great Sensei
(Minimum Aim: ~1 min 10 sec)

We saw this coming - another High Side Kick-cancel spam battle. Try all means to push him to the edge/wall/corner and break his guard; it shouldn't be hard on easy mode.Continue spamming High Side Kick-cancels when he's dizzy, or you can unleash Godhand if you want. Personally, I recommend saving your TP for the next stage unless you're really having trouble with him.

Stage 7-4
(Minimum Aim: ~2 min)

Turn to your right, go round around the corner and kill off the elite hitting the villager ASAP with High Side Kick cancels. Be careful of the skinny ass as he will do everything he can to interrupt. When the elite is down, pick up the rosary cross and make sure that you have enough TP to unleash at least once.

Now run all the way out in the direction of the cursed door and enter the house on the right where there are 2 Mohawk ladies. Unleash godhand and kill off the one with the red Mohawk and pick up the rosary cross she drops. Then, run out of the house immediately, turn to your right and kill off the elite by the cursed door ASAP with High Side Kick cancels.

Pick up the last rosary cross he drops and check to see how many orbs you have. If you want to max out your orbs (assuming 3 orbs) which I highly recommend, run to the left corner of this area (to the left of the cursed door) with many objects and try to get the statue to appear. When it does, quickly destroy it with High Side Kicks and pray for a red card. If it's not a red card, depending on how obsessive-compulsive you are, you may want to reset. Be warned that you will be interrupted by enemies while trying to destroy the statue.

Stage 7-5: Belze
(Minimum Aim: ~1 min 45 sec)

Assuming that your TP isn't full, taunt immediately after the battle begins. Belze should now slowly approach you so unleash godhand and punch as fast as possible until he's dizzy, then get in 2 Yes Man Kablaams and a pummel. If pummel sends him flying a distance away, taunt and then unleash godhand again. Rinse and repeat.

When you're out of TP completely, abuse the Chain Yanker + Yes Man Kablaam tactic. Whatever you do, make sure that you leave at least 1 orb unused for stage 8.

<< Proceed to Stage 6         Proceed to Stage 8 >>